dear diary..

Right now I feel like
wanna to shout..
Wanna to scream..
Wanna to cry..
Why u always do this to me?
Don't u know everytime u say something that hurt my feeling..something inside me is bleeding..something inside me is dying...
Then don't ask me where did IT go..
Cause IT has gone litle by litle by ur doing..
But still I keep holding on ..
I ♓ανè big strong arms who support me keep me holding on..
I ♓ανè another BIG LOVE that endures forever n HE said to keep me going strong..
So..I'm holding on to that arms n love forever..

Life ain't PERFECT but "Life is BEAUTIFUL" still ...

Been a long time not to write ( don't count my last posting as a writing hehehe,,it's only a posting about my admiration to my star n he had a birthday at that day so I must post in my blog about that,,,^^ :P )
This idea to write about this topic was coming in the middle when I made a posting about my star's b'day n my close friend told me something that make me like kind in shocked moment so there it goes the starting point...
I start with my friend's story..
She has a great life..May be everyone who see her will envy her. She has a beautiful face, married with a handsome n rich guy..hmm if it was in the fairytale, it's like she is married with a Prince ^^ Then she has really beautiful daughters n handsome boy..money never been any problem to this family!! Great n Perfect life..
She adores her hubby..always falls in love with him..I think her world always revolves around his hubby..how a wonderful perfect marriage life!
Now back to my story..
I have a quite wonderful life too..
born in mid class family n my family business is quite well. My father used to be a center of our life. He's a strong person with big ambition so we as his children used to be kind of obeying with little bit afraid of him ;p. Every decisions in our family almost everything thing was decided by him..but everything seem so perfect so we never think much because of that!
Life is really beautiful..isn't it?
Then,,,
the Un-perfectness in life come..
My friend was betrayed by his hubby..a cliche story..but if it happened to someone who is close in our heart, it become a real story! Never imagine such a beautiful marriage was attacked by that kind of problem especially cause i know her hubby quite well..a loving n attentive husband, a caring father n a responsible man.. but it really happen!
In my side..
Suddenly our center of life was taken away from us! In such a short time, without we even realized it! We're shocked! We're not ready..
So all we can say are "Why God? Why?"
When we are in this un-perfect situation. it seems everything are so bad..just feel kind of runaway from this..don't want to get through this..wanna our beautiful life back..but through this, God teach us to lean on HIM more, trust HIM more, not lean to man, not trust to man, only HIM! He teach us to be strong through this cause His LOVE always surround us when we face this un-perfect situation..that's why we STILL see the BEAUTY in life though Life ain't always PERFECT!

Wanna add some story from my favorite pastor's blog..it really inspires me..
..how life is not perfect, but life is definitely worth living. Many of us go through hard times, struggles and suffering. Many of us have had hopes that were shattered, dreams that never became a reality, and situations in life that never turned out the way we expected. Maybe our health failed, our relationships were broken, our finances tanked, our dreams slipped away, or we were wronged unfairly. Whatever the case, life never seems to turn out the way we think, but life can still be beautiful.
That quote is from this blog http://jaesonma.com/life-is-beautiful
for a full story, just read that link..it's been a bless for me..

My SunShine -Jang Keun Suk 장근석 B'day- Aug 04.2010

04 August 2010 is a happy day for my SunShine
This is his Birthday
The first time I have an opportunity to send birthday wishes to him cause I've joined his ofc webby so I wish he could read this..
The first star that make me fall so deeply with
The first star that make me can't take my eyes off
that's all the effects I've got by knowing him more
I'm amazed by his personality..
The way he treats his fans, the way he works, the way he thinks..a young guy with a great mind!
I'm attracted with his cute face..
His innocent look mixed with hot gesture. the smiling angel's smile, the expressive eyes, the unique kind of fashion style..they mix together and create someone STAND OUT from the crowd called Jang Keun Suk..the star place no 1 in my heart..
so I dedicate this posting ONLY for HIM.. cause HE IS SOO SPECIAL!!
생일 축하
당신은 최선을 다하길 바래
당신을 사랑합니다

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I made all the posting above before this day, August 04. 2010
and I add this comment after seeing all the eels around the world flood the net to send b'day greeting to this SPECIAL BOY..
What a fantastic feeling seeing the Love they show..I'm kind of carried away..
Wonder what this boy is thinking about this..

The Reunion

It's GREAT REUNION!!
So happy after so long not meeting my highschool friends n at last we meet again!
How times fly so fast...
20 years it seem like just yeaterday...
Some of them changed but some of them still looked the same n some one them even looked more gorgeous then before..
I met my biggest highschool crush too..hehehe..He still looked gorgeous n I think even more gorgeous..ohhh noo..I could fall over him again if he's being too nice to me... (Stay calm. stay straight n not lost control.Rini!-->that's my head said ;P )
But after all, it's really Great Reunion....

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FORGIVENESS

One of the SECRETS of a LONG and FRUITFUL life is to FORGIVE everybody everything every night BEFORE you go to BED. - Bernard Baruch

The WEAK can NEVER FORGIVE. Forgiveness is the attribute of the STRONG. - Mahatma Gandhi

As long as you DON'T FORGIVE, WHO and WHATEVER it is will OCCUPY rent-free space in your mind. - Isabelle Holland

FORGIVENESS is a GIFT you give yourself. - Suzanne Somers

To FORGIVE is the highest, most beautiful form of LOVE. In return, you will receive untold PEACE and HAPPINESS. - Robert Muller

In God's eyes, LOVE is never absent, In God's heart , FORGIVENESS is never impossible, In God's embrace, no one is ever ALONE or FORGOTTEN. - Unknown

Ketika hidupku tlah di hakimi, ajarku memberi hati mengasihi
(When my life has been judged, teach me to love..)
Ketika hatiku tlah disakiti, ajarku memberi hati mengampuni
(When my heart has been hurted, teach me to forgive..)
Ampuni bila kami tak mampu mengampuni yang bersalah kepada kami
(Forgive us if we can't forgive the one who done us wrong..)
Seperti HATI BAPA mengampuni, mengasihi tiada pamrih..
( Give us heart like FATHER's HEART who love us unconditionally..)


.....the FORGIVENESS......

JANG KEUN SUK - MY SUNSHINE

It's been so long since I didn't write here. I'm kind of confused what to write and still don't know how to upload to make this blog look interesting.but here I am..try to write down what in my mind lately!

This is what I've been doing lately..searching all the news about this cute adorable guy (Though not everyone think so..hahaha..but for me, he does!)

I start the first time I know him. I think in about 2007, i found this serial called "Hwang Ji Ni". The kind of SaeGuk serial which was starred by Ha Ji Won. I know her n kind like her so I rented this serial n watched it. Quite like this serial but the most interesting part of the serial is I know this boy! I'm touched by his cuteness but the most is his acting! This boy is still young n I don't know anything about him but after I watched the serial, i tried to find out..who is he? ohh then I know his name..Jang Geun Soek! He's born in 1987..still young..but this boy can touched my heart by looking at his character as Eun Hoo ( the son of rich nobleman who fall in love deeply with young Hwang Ji Ni)! Amazing..after he died..the serial wasn't interesting anymore..hahaha.. look how amazing he affected me! First time know this boy but can make me not able to continue the rest of the serial cause he's already gone!
After that first impression, I always follow the movies n serials he played. he always done a good job! As a singer in DoReMiFaSolaTiDo, he's quite amazing especially when he got amnesia. He's still look so young here n his voice when he's singing still too raw ( hahaha..couldn't find the right word to describe this!) but he looked cute n still innocent in here!
I missed the movie "Happy Life" n till now couldn't find it..I found "One Missed Call-the finall " several days ago n still not watch it.
In "Crazy Waiting"..also looked amazing in his short-cut hairstyle ( I love his look in this way) n played his role who fall in love with Nonna - Soen Tae Young ( I'm kind forget Kwon Sang Wong's wife name..i hope it's right..) tough this movie not left depth impression for me.
In Baby n Me..he's absolutely look adorable..as adorable as baby Mason..those two are great! As a rebel young boy who become more mature cause of baby Mason..no wonder many girls love this movie.
Then in his latest movie which won "Baeksang award"-ITaeWon Murder..he show his improvement as an actor. he challenge himself to speak English which is not his spoken language n play the two sided character as a murder..He's done a wonderful job! But what impress me more, this is not a big budget movie n he's willing to play in here cause he want to learn more..that's really a good attitude for becoming a great star!
That's also show when he turn down the role of 'Go JunPyo" in BOF because he want to play in "Beethoven Virus" which starred by many senior actors n actress just for sake of Learning! Once again, I said really great attitude for an artist who want to be successful in the future! In BV, he play as young genius musician "GunWoo" n make master Kang Mae sometimes envy his genius in music but have to let go his feeling for violin girl ( hahaha.. I forget her name..ohh..i think she is Lee Ji Ah) because the girl love master Kang Mae..I don't like the ending but love all classical musics in here!
In "Hong Gil Dong", once again a SaeGuk serial, he played as 'a runaway young prince-Chang Hui"..this serial left depth impression in me! His role is some kind antagonist type but i don' t know, I can't hate him but feel so sorry for him. May be because he always feel lonely n can't get Yi Nok's love, that's make me feel symphaty for him instead of hate! I can feel the sorrow in his eyes..really great job again, Sukkie!
Now it's time for his latest n phenomenal drama which bring his stardom rocketed through out Asia n the world ( I'm sure..it's the world cause i know some ppl from Iran, Turki, US who crazy about Sukkie after watch this drama)..You Are Beautiful! Though this drama got a medio rate in Korea when it's aired but it's the most talked n discussed drama in the internet! Almost everyone who have watched it, fall in love with this drama. I' m kind of underestimated this drama at first cause before watch this, I watch "Shining Inheritance" which I found a good drama n captured my heart after so long i'm not in the mood of watching Korean drama cause i'm kind of boring about the story line but Shining Inheritance got a good storyline! So I don't expect much to watch YaB, only just Jang Keun Suk on it so I must watch it! But the fact is.. This drama is FUNtastic!!! Since for along time I didn't get this feeling again, the last one is when I watch "My name is KimSamSoon"..I love KimSamSoon so I've already watched this drama 5 or 6 times . Every time I'm not in the mood, watch KimSamSoon can make me up mood again! Buuuut..after watching YaB, I think I've found my addiction again (hahaha,,that's right..Addicted!!!). This drama is sooo farrr good than "Boys Over Flower" ( Thank God, Sukkie, you turn down the role of "Go Jun Pyo"). The story line, the casts, the musics is so fantastic!
Jang KeunSuk is playing as Hwang Tae Kyung, the leader of famous group. ANJell. He's eccentric, cool blooded, perfectionist but also vulnerable! Jang Keun Suk played it sooo Godd Damn Hooot!! Once again (hahaha..how many once again??) but this time...REALLLY..Perfect acting! Everyone ( haha..don't know everyone or not, but for me) can't deny Hwang tae Kyung's charm.He's kind of bad boy but his attention to Go Mi Nam is really so sweet! He's not as kind as Shin Woo but he matched Go Mi Nam really well. I love this TaeNyu (TaeKyung-MiNyu) couple!
Because of this drama n I've got my laptop ( I used to be a freak in technology so I'm late to catch up about internet thing!), I start to look any news about YaB things at first..so many ppl talked about this drama n upload many kind of videos..then I end up with the first lead male..Jang Keun Suk!
Yeah, i found so many kinds of infos about this boy in the net . I'm kind of late about this but i don't regret it. I start with searching about the songs he sang in YaB like Promise, Still, Good Bye, What should I do, Without a word n download them in my mobile phone. His voice is so intoxicated too..then I found his other songs like "Can you hear me?"(soundtrack of Beethoven.. love this song!), Can we make it (it's amazing song too), Just drag it n Toucholic ( songs from Samsung Cf)..then I found my days always full with him already! Search news about him, Download his pictures in my laptop, and at last..join his fanclub..something that I've never done before..so into someone ( a star)! Never done to anyone before!!
Why I did this?
That's because he is so worth to be loved!!
I find his warm character through the interviews, the videos (uploaded by many fans..Sukkie calls them: Cri_J, Eels, Jang-ers) n the messages he write for his fans! He is so nice toward his fans, he treat them as his best friends, that's another good point from him! From my opinion, he has perfectionist, playful, expressive, so down to earth, cheerful character, little bit bad boy but always honest to tell about himself in the interview..I don't know but I think I like his characters..feel so warm to see him..just like a SunShine..that's why I call him..My SunShine!
That's my story about my SunShine...